Monday, December 04, 2006

Why Men Cheat

An expert sounds off on why men cheat on their wives. The article could concern women, too, since his reasoning applies to human nature. He lists 4 reasons why men cheat.

1. To fulfill his biology.
2. To get attention.
3. To get out of a bad relationship.
4. To change up.

Let's be fair. Women want the above. They have physical needs, want attention, sometimes cheat to be found out so they can get out or find that they want someone new. The fact is, all of the above reasons are not good enough excuses to cheat. In my book, all of the above means one thing. A lack of commitment.

When you've been together a while it's not going to have the spark it had in your first year together. To have that expectation, and be bratty enough to seek it elsewhere because you're not still feeling it, is nothing short of infantile. Instead of seeking change outside of your relationship, try changing it up from within.

Hubby and I have been together for 18 years now. Do you honestly think I have liked him every single day of those years? No way. But I still loved him. After our first few years we made a pact to never say "Do you want a divorce?" while arguing. Neither one of us meant it and it was an idle threat, anyway. It never got us closer to moving beyond our argument. We have been committed to each other no matter what. We know we won't like each other sometimes. We know we won't always be "in love", but we will always love each other. You make that choice.

Relationships are all about committment. You are either in it for the long haul, or you're in it for short term, selfish reasons. If you believe it's ok to cheat when it gets a little dry, or that flirting or conversations with the opposite sex can remain innocent, you haven't made a cold, hard commitment.

The expert that wrote this article may have nailed reasons, but I wish he would have just said it. Committment. If you lack that, anything can happen.